In church it seemed like I was going through the motions as a young believer, playing church. I would go to church, listen, put my hands up, put my hands down, say two hallelujah’s and a Amen. Like this pig, in the picture, I was in my surroundings, walking , talking, and doing all the right things but, never getting dirty. How could I be so deep into church yet not be affected by its surroundings. I was like a well painted master piece but when up close you could see the cracks. Was I living the life of Christ or walking through the motions? Once again leaving church with questions and no answers. It was my fault for not asking I would think to myself. Who is responsible for me knowing Jesus? Was it me, the pastor, random christians, who were to help me? Well, either way doing
something over and over expecting a different outcome is insane ….or was it faith? In a way it was like going to the super market, buying groceries and leaving them there. You go to church expecting a big take away but because you don’t ask or understand its like leaving your gift behind. What is the point of an empty ritual. Well, if change was going to occur, it had to start with me. I began asking questions at church. I would read every scripture they spoke about. Than I would use the bible to find answers or ask at every church gathering. If Jesus is my savior, I needed to understand. I began to try to imagine what Jesus was doing all day. The word says he went about doing good, healing the sick and helping the oppressed. I began to help random people. A kind word, a random smile, helping people move. There was something about looking in the eyes of a needy person. It was rewarding to be used and so many were in need. One day I looked down at my hands and they were dirty, I was dirty, I finally had become my surroundings. I was no longer just listening to preaching but, living what Jesus lived. I am still walking it all out but there is something about not just reading and saying but, doing what you read and hear. The day you see someone smile from having a meal or buy a blanket for someone cold, it changes your quality of life. Suddenly, I would say life becomes more abundant.